


Who Ever Said Team-Building Was Easy?

by hwathornberry



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Chaos, Fluff, Gen, I did not plan this out, I had way too much fun writing this, I'm sorry I swear I'll complete this someday, Park Seonghwa-centric, Partners-in-Crime - Freeform, Pranks, Shenanigans, Villains and Heroes, a whole chaotic mess, and now it's taking a life of its own, ateez ensemble - Freeform, because i love them, eight makes one team, food fight?, hongjoong is stressed, it was originally supposed to be a one-shot, just some mild cursing, no beta we die like men, please enjoy?, right well it's a team-building retreat, stray kids cameo, uh yeah I have no idea how to tag, villain AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:54:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25324990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwathornberry/pseuds/hwathornberry
Summary: One fine Friday afternoon, Seonghwa was forced to attend a team-building retreat that his (literal) partner-in-crime, Yeosang, dragged him into. He had expected some stuffy, boring leader to run them through the typical "get-to-know-each-other" activities, but he hadn't expected to find six more chaotic villains who turned the whole place upside-down. And yeah, maybe the trip to the emergency room was partially his fault, but who could blame him? Well, okay. Maybe it was mostly his fault.All he knew was that by the end of the retreat, he had taken six baby chicks under his wing (not literally, of course).--------CURRENTLY ON HIATUS (I'm sorry ;-; but I'll try to get back on track as soon as possible)A chaotic, fun-filled short story about ATEEZ, featuring a brief cameo of Stray Kids! There is a mild language warning (heh), but don't let that discourage you! I don't have a set schedule for new chapters, but I hope you'll stick around nonetheless.Yes, this is purely a work of fiction, and I don't own any of the characters.
Kudos: 26





	1. "Becoming Better Bad Boy Bros"

“Alright, I’m very pleased that  _ almost _ all of you guys could attend.” The silver-haired man, who was sitting cross-legged on a folding chair, glanced around at the six faces that stared back at him. For some unfathomable reason, he was balancing a clipboard on his head. He quickly glanced at the clock on the opposite side of the room and sighed. The man then coughed under his breath, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, “I swear if Mingi overslept again I will kick him into tomorrow, that ungrateful piece of—” 

Sensing that the sentence was about to take a turn for the worse, Seonghwa, who sat to the left of the rambling man, sharply nudged him in the side. Hopefully he got the hint, Seonghwa thought. The organizer of such an event shouldn’t have been so crass in front of strangers—though he supposed it didn’t really apply if said “strangers” were all villains. But that was beside the point, right? The clipboard, which had been part of an “impressive” balancing trick, landed with a soft thump on the floor. The man quickly picked it up and straightened himself out on the chair.

“Right, where was I? Ah, yes. Team-building is an essential part of our jobs—in fact, it’s the only way we’ll be able to succeed. So, I’m glad you are here and are actively taking steps to improve yourselves.” The man paused, evidently hoping for some sort of reaction from the six other men sitting around in a circle. All he received was a half-assed cheer from a brown-haired man and snorts from the rest of the group. 

“Why don’t we start with introductions? I’m Hongjoong, but you may know me as Lucky.” There were a few muffled snickers at his very…  _ villainous _ name. Unfazed, the silver-haired man—Hongjoong, he was called—plowed on. “Luck’s always on my side. Always. Anyways, it’s great to meet you all! Why don’t we go clockwise? So you can go next,” he said, gesturing at Seonghwa.

Seonghwa sighed. “I’m Park Seonghwa, a.k.a Mars.” After a few seconds of awkward silence in which Seonghwa could practically imagine crows cawing, the others burst into hesitant claps. Meanwhile, Hongjoong’s eyes nearly bulged out at him.

“Is that it?” Hongjoong demanded. Seonghwa simply glared at the man, not deigning to respond. It hadn’t been his idea to register for the “team-building retreat,” as it was dubbed, but alas. His (literal) partner-in-crime had insisted that they “spend quality time together to get to know each other better,” and he caved in after his partner had actually threatened to pester him about the botched Osaka mission. Seonghwa slowly shifted his glare from the host of the retreat to scowl at Yeosang, who unapologetically stared back.  _ Brat _ , Seonghwa huffed in his mind. The blond man had the  _ audacity _ to stick out his tongue at Seonghwa in retaliation. With his partner being a snoop and constantly reading others’ thoughts, Seonghwa knew that Yeosang had heard him loud and clear.

“Hello everyone! I’m somewhat well-known as Uno, but I’m actually Jeong Yunho! I’m glad I’m here, and I hope we can all work together in the future!” The brown-haired man—the same one who had given the unenthusiastic cheer earlier—was as energetic as a bouncing puppy.

“No u!” A voice shouted. Seonghwa turned to see a tall figure with messy cherry-red hair standing in the doorway, grinning. The intruder’s clothes were all rumpled, and his glasses were askew. And was that a tie wrapped around his head? Not to mention his t-shirt, which was inside out. Hongjoong audibly sighed, while the others burst into giggles at the newcomer. Seriously, how childish were they?

“How nice of you to finally join us, Mingi. Take a seat, would you? You’re just about… an hour late. Nothing much, of course. It’s not like we wasted about half an hour waiting for you to show up. Even just a quick message would have sufficed.” Hongjoong muttered.

“My timing is awesome! I avoided the awkwardness of being too early, and I made a dramatic, memorable entrance!” Mingi grinned, undeterred. “Anyways, I’m Song Mingi. You might know me as I-yah. Don’t ask. And Hongjoong dragged me into this, by the way.” He plopped down on the carpeted ground, foregoing a chair. And then the man pulled out a box of chocolates from thin air. Seonghwa blinked in shock. Where in the world had Mingi gotten chocolates? And the more pertinent question: could Seonghwa have some?

“Well, I suppose I’ll go next. I’m Kang Yeosang, and honestly, my alter ego name isn’t all that great. I can’t  _ possibly  _ compare Logan to I-yah.” His voice dripped with sarcasm. “Oh, and thanks for thinking I’m handsome.” Yeosang flashed a brief smile at a man with a white streak in his black hair, the man’s ears quickly turning red.

“He—he read my mind?” The man exclaimed, flabbergasted.

“Sweetie, I’m a villain for a reason.” Yeosang grinned again. “No one ever suspects that I’m privy to all of their thoughts. Makes for entertaining conversations.”

“Uhh… Alright then. I’m Howl, but I’m really Choi San. If you really want to, you can call me Mountain. Just don’t call me by my full name. And yeah, the white streak in my hair’s been there all my life. I didn’t dye it to look edgy or anything.”

“Yeah, no, that’s a lie.” Yeosang scoffed. Everyone cracked up at the blunt statement, save for San.

“Moving on!” The embarrassed man quickly chirped, waving his hand around.

“Yeah, okay. I’m Wooyeon, or at least that’s my alter ego. My actual name’s Jung Wooyoung, which is similar enough. I’m surprised that people haven’t caught on yet. Regrettably, I’m friends with the mountain over there. Worst decision of my life.” Wooyoung, the purple-haired man, slapped San’s arm wholeheartedly. The latter let out a pained grunt, but Wooyoung simply continued grinning like nothing was wrong.

“Dude, if anything, I’m surprised they didn’t make the connection with my name. I went by Shinwoo for a bit before I changed it to my real name, Jongho, and no one’s realized a thing. It’s been like three years now. They’re so dense.” Jongho scoffed. “Oh, and I’m a Choi too.” He was one of the members who was less boisterous than the others, to Seonghwa’s immense relief (and also the only person with his natural hair color besides Seonghwa himself). Seonghwa was low-key getting a headache from how loud everyone else was.

“That’s great! So, now that we’ve  _ finally _ introduced ourselves,” Hongjoong sent a brief glare at Mingi before continuing, “I’ll go over the schedule for this three-day retreat.”

“Today’s Friday the 13th, correct? Well, we’ll be having dinner together at 7 pm, which leaves you guys with just about two hours to unpack, settle in, do whatever you need to do, et cetera. Dinner’s in the dining hall. I’m sure all of you are fully capable of reading a map and following signs. If not, then.  _ Well _ , good luck.  After that, we’ll have a meeting to set ground rules that everyone will adhere to at all times. At around 11 pm, we’ll have a campfire, roast marshmallows, and tell stories or whatever. And no, this is not open for discussion. I’ll take questions at the end.” Hongjoong glowered at Wooyoung, who had been about to open his mouth.

“Now, Saturday morning. I expect each and every one of you—this means you too, Mingi—to be up and ready for breakfast at 8 am sharp in the dining hall. We’ll be having a day of fun outdoor team-building activities, so bring sunscreen and dress appropriately. I don’t want to deal with a bunch of burnt crisps, yeah? How well that day goes will determine what we’ll do on Sunday.” Hongjoong finished.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t end up with a trip to the emergency room.” Seonghwa remarked quietly. Hongjoong appeared to not hear his remark, much to Seonghwa’s relief. Or maybe the man had just chosen to ignore him. Either way, Seonghwa escaped unscathed.

“Now, since we have another half hour until it’s 5 pm, would anyone like to share some stories and get to know each other better?” Hongjoong prompted. 

“Actually, I do have a story you guys may want to hear—” Yeosang started. Seonghwa immediately panicked.  _ Yeosang, don’t you dare expose that dumpster fire of a mission in Osaka or else I swear you will disappear and no one—no one, except for me—will know where you went _ , he mentally screamed.

“Yeah, on second thought, never mind. Maybe another time.” Yeosang finished, wincing slightly. However, the corners of his lips were upturned slightly, and Seonghwa knew he wouldn’t be living this down anytime soon.

“Well, I’ll go ahead then.” Wooyoung smirked, and San’s face suddenly paled. “Strap in everybody, because this is going to be one hell of a ride.”

“Language!” Hongjoong exclaimed.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I meant, this is going to be one heck of a ride.” Wooyoung rolled his eyes but complied with Hongjoong.

Twenty minutes later, everyone in the room was staring at Wooyoung in shock.

“So you’re saying that your mission was to dismantle the traffic light system but things went south and you ended up being pursued by a horde of wild animals,  _ including _ a freaking polar bear, around the city for a whole 8 hours? Because you went to the central traffic control system and knocked everyone in the front unconscious, then proceeded to whistle merrily, then headed to the ice cream shop across the street to buy some mint chocolate chip ice cream because you had time to spare?” Yunho’s eyes widened as he glanced at Wooyoung in confirmation.

“And let’s ignore the fact that mint chocolate chip ice cream is absolutely disgusting.” Seonghwa tacked on. 

“Okay, we’ll be debating that later. Anyways. After that, you decided to re-enter the building, but you forgot that the alarm system was still in place? And so when you actually opened the door, the alarms went off and alerted every policeman and superhero to your presence within a 20-mile radius? And then you had the  _ brilliant _ idea to trigger the sprinkler system by setting the room on fire with some spare matches you just  _ kept in your pocket _ ? Except the fire was quickly put out by a superhero that wielded water?

And then suddenly some superhero named Sheridan—who had the power to summon and control animals—showed up, and you had the  _ brilliant _ idea to flirt with her? And then she absolutely crushed you, and animals ended up chasing you for hours on end while you screamed like a young child and ran for your life? And you embarrassed the entirety of the supervillain community when videos of this entire fiasco surfaced on the Internet?” Yunho continued.

“Yep.” Wooyoung sighed. Hongjoong looked utterly done with the fire-wielding villain. “Not my finest moment, but truly memorable. And I definitely didn’t scream like a child.”

“Yeah, he sounded more like a dying hyena, in my opinion. And trust me, I was there to witness the whole spectacle. Hilarious. I should have brought some popcorn or something—it was like a scene straight out of a movie!” Jongho smirked.

“You could have stepped in and helped, you ungrateful brat!” Wooyoung shot at Jongho. “Birds of a feather flock together, after all!”

“Nah. I didn’t know you, and at the time, I  _ was _ enjoying some ice cream at the nearby parlor. It was too much fun recording the whole event, too. I got so many new subscribers from that.” Jongho reminisced, looking completely unapologetic.

“You—the audacity! Why, I ought to give you a piece of my mind right now!” Wooyoung shouted, getting to his feet. His fingertips emitted small sparks, a few of which landed on Jongho’s sleeve and nearly caused his shirt to catch on fire.

“You wanna go? Let’s see how that ends up for you, yeah?” Jongho stood up and cracked his knuckles.

“Sit down, both of you. No need to get into a petty fight the first day. You see, none of this would have happened if you had a partner on the job. He would’ve stopped you from making stupid decision after stupid decision.” Hongjoong butted in. “This is a great learning experience for why we need to work together.”

“Well, actually. About that. San was my partner, but he was busy dealing with… another problem. And so he wasn’t able to intervene.” Wooyoung sheepishly admitted.

“What Wooyoung means is that San was busy placing their lunch order at a restaurant on the other side of the city.” Yeosang added without hesitation. Man, it must be fun being able to read minds, Seonghwa thought.

“Dude, you really need to stop with that mind-reading mumbo jumbo.” San glared at Yeosang, the exposer of embarrassing truths. “But in my defense, we did have a reservation at  _ The Aurora _ , and you know how difficult it is to get a reservation there. We were on the waiting list for months.”

“Alright, why don’t we move on? Anyone else have something they’d like to share?” Hongjoong quickly interjected.

“Well, I’m not sure if you want to hear the story, since it’s a long one, but Seonghwa and I are considered personae non gratae in Japan because our most recent mission to Osaka went rather  _ badly _ .” Yeosang piped up, casting a quick glance at his partner to gauge his reaction.

“And that’s a story for another time, isn’t it, Yeosang? I’m sure we wouldn’t want to  _ bore _ everyone else here with a rather long story of miscommunication and some unintentional deaths, right?” Seonghwa smiled, casting the stink eye at Yeosang. His smile was a borderline ‘I’m going to murder you the first chance I get when there are no witnesses’ smile, but Yeosang remained unfazed.

“If you say so. But let’s just say it involved a meal in the wrong place at the wrong time, compromised identities, an accidental fire that burned down the central government building, the entire Japanese government, a few misplaced bombs, some very dead or missing criminals, highly classified information that was leaked, and a harrowing escape from a maximum-security prison. Oh, and some amazing mochi. Not necessarily in that order.” Yeosang summed up. Everyone else in the room looked to Seonghwa and Yeosang in awe.

“I—I don’t know what to say to that. Uh, I’m glad you’re alive after that ordeal?” Hongjoong stuttered.

“Why, thank you. It’s always refreshing to hear that people are happy we aren’t dead.” Yeosang smiled, forcing out an obviously fake laugh.

“Are you personae non gratae anywhere else?” Jongho wondered.

“Oh, just the usual. Russia, Ukraine, Hungary, Saudi Arabia, actually most of the countries in the Middle East, Italy, Germany, Venezuela. Almost got kicked out of Australia too.” Yeosang trailed off when he noticed that the other people in the room were becoming increasingly frightened by his seemingly never-ending list. “You know I’m just kidding, right? We’re only not welcome in Japan.”

“How would I know? I didn’t know you and Mr. Toothless until like an hour and a half ago!” Yunho responded quickly.

“What? No, that wasn’t what I meant. I meant ‘you know,’ not ‘Yun’—you know what, never mind.” Yeosang sighed, exasperated. Seonghwa covered his giggles with his hand, but Yeosang still shot him a dirty look before resigning himself to stare at the austere wall on the other side of the room.

“Mr. Toothless! Ha! That’s gold! I’m calling you that for the rest of your life,” Wooyoung smirked at Seonghwa. The latter man stayed silent, instead opting to plot out Wooyoung’s “accidental” death in his mind. Perhaps a sudden shove would do the trick. If they were on a bridge that just so happened to run over a body of water, well… Seonghwa could say that he had simply slipped and unfortunately pushed Wooyoung over the railing. It happened all the time, right? Right?

“Hwa, he has the power to control fire. It’s fruitless; he’d just burn you alive before you actually threw him over the side.” Yeosang snickered, casting a quick glance at Wooyoung; the man had no idea what was going on.

Perhaps sensing the increasing animosity in the room, Hongjoong quickly cleared his throat—rather loudly at that, Seonghwa thought—to draw everyone’s attention towards him.

“So, I hope everyone’s learned something about the others here! I can imagine us becoming close teammates in the future as a result of this retreat.” He smiled.

“The only thing I learned is that everyone’s villain names are absolute rubbish—I mean, very creative and innovative.” Jongho snarked. Hongjoong’s smile became slightly more fixed, and Seonghwa noticed that the man was about two seconds from breaking the clipboard that he held in his hands.

“Well, I believe we’ll make a pretty good team. With time, of course.” Seonghwa quickly added in. He ignored the shouts from Mingi and Yunho, who were busy betting on whether San or Wooyoung would win an intense staring contest (San won, and Mingi ‘discreetly’ slipped Yunho the rest of his chocolates). 

“We need a slogan. Something to show and strengthen our teamwork, I think. Like a group motto or something!” Jongho suggested.

“You know what, that’s not a bad idea.” Hongjoong acknowledged, tilting his head to the side.

“How about ‘becoming better bad boy bros’? Bebebabobro for short.” San chuckled. A high-pitched hyena laugh followed shortly after as Wooyoung promptly fell out of his seat, laughing his head off.

“I—You can’t be serious.” Hongjoong facepalmed, sighing in disappointment. No wonder the superheroes they faced off against were always triumphant, Seonghwa thought. Basically all the villains were absolute idiots, and that was being rather generous. But at least they hadn’t been arrested and jailed. Yet. It must have been dumb luck. Dumb luck was the only reason they weren’t behind bars for life.

“I mean, we’re eight people, and we make one team. So, ‘eight makes one team,’ maybe?” Mingi chimed in.

“How very practical. But I suppose it gets the point across.” Hongjoong quickly scribbled the phrase on his clipboard (where had he even conjured the purple fountain pen from?), and Seonghwa nodded in agreement.

“Alright, let’s say it on the count of three! One, two, three!” Unfortunately, instead of a clearly enunciated phrase, what came out was a jumbled mess of words ranging from a literal “it on the count of three” (San) to “hehet” (Yeosang), much to Hongjoong’s dismay. Seonghwa could barely refrain from bursting out into laughter. What an interesting team the eight of them would make.

“I think it’d be good to call our team ‘organized chaos.’ Impossible to keep track of and constantly malfunctioning, but somehow it’ll work out? An oxymoron in and of itself.” Yeosang sneered, gesturing in Wooyoung and San’s direction, the two villains busy playing what looked to be rock-paper-scissors and finger-flicking the loser.

“Ox morons? What oxen? And are you calling us all morons?” Simultaneous sighs resounded across the room at the comment.

“Or perhaps ‘smart imbeciles’ would be a more apt name. Because that certainly seems like what we are.” Wooyoung remarked, temporarily halting the game. A loud crack sounded across the room, and Seonghwa looked at the broken pieces of clipboard in Hongjoong’s hands. Well, he had been right when he thought that the clipboard should fear for its life. Number of casualties resulting from the retreat: one.

“Stop. We’re all going to get along, and we  _ will _ become one functional team during this retreat. Understand?” Hongjoong, evidently fed up, stated firmly. His voice was taking on a slightly hysterical edge, Seonghwa noted. If they didn’t stop, the fatality count would increase to 8 very quickly: seven aggravating humans and one pitiful clipboard corpse.

“Of course!” Sounds of agreement quickly echoed across the room, the other villains finally realizing that Hongjoong was dangerously close to snapping—both physically and mentally. With luck literally always being on his side (he wasn’t named “Lucky” for nothing, after all), Hongjoong could probably curse everyone in the room with a simple snap of his fingers. Seonghwa  _ had _ heard rumors of that happening once, and he wasn’t very keen on testing whether it was true or not.

“So, everyone, just shut up for a minute, please? Consider this our first test of teamwork and camaraderie.” Hongjoong pleaded.

“Okay then, comrade. Pleasure working with you.” Wooyoung snickered. He received a prompt slap from San, who plastered a huge smile on his face and said, “Of  _ course _ , Hongjoong!”

The few moments of hard-earned silence were abruptly disrupted when the first few bars of “Never Gonna Give You Up” played. Mingi turned a few shades pinker before he quickly pulled out his phone and shushed everyone else, the other villains all busy groaning from being Rick-rolled by a freaking ringtone. Who in the world would set their ringtone as that cursed song (besides Mingi)?

“Yeah, hey. Yep. Sorry.” Mingi paused. “Um, mhm. Yeah, I’ll be there in ten minutes, I lost track of time. Yeah, uh huh.” Another pause. “It won’t happen again. Okay, bye.”

Mingi ended the call and stood up. Just as Hongjoong was about to inquire about his call, Mingi explained, “Sorry. I have to go now, I’m late for something that I forgot about. I’ll be back in an hour or so, don’t worry about me!” He sent the entire room an exaggerated wink before moonwalking out of the room and closing the door behind him.

“What was that all about?” Yunho, wide-eyed, wondered. No one deigned to respond.

“Okay, well. It’s currently 5:05 pm, so we can wrap up the meeting up now. Anyone want to make some closing remarks? No? Okay, I’ll go then. I think we really do have the potential to become a great team. Yeah, we may be really different and all have our own strengths, but at the end of the day, with a varied skill set, I think we can work better together than if we worked alone or in pairs. You know, what Mingi suggested earlier really is true. Eight makes one team.” Hongjoong sent a genuine smile to the remaining six members of their newly-formed team.

“What an inspirational speech!” Yunho sniffed, wiping away fake tears. “You truly have the potential to be our leader, Hongjun.”

“Dude, at least get my name right. It’s Hongjoong.” The man replied, feeling rather miffed. Seonghwa snorted.

“Anyways, see y’all at dinner!” San grinned.

“Now, let’s go unpack our things, settle in, get familiar with our roommates if we haven’t already, and kick superhero asses together!” Wooyoung whooped.

“Language!” Hongjoong glared at Wooyoung, who simply rolled his eyes yet again.

“Would you like me to go down my list of well-crafted insults? ‘Bastard cookie’ is my favorite, actually. Next is shit-faced potato and hot da—” Hongjoong jumped up and crossed the room to slap his hand over Wooyoung’s mouth.

“I have a suggestion for the first ground rule: no unnecessary profanity. Especially not in front of the child.” Seonghwa declared. Jongho sent a glare in his direction and mimed cutting his head off, which Seonghwa pointedly ignored.

“Approved.” Hongjoong proceeded to scream as Wooyoung licked his hand.

Amidst the chaos, Yeosang was the first person—not including Mingi—to get out of his seat and head towards the exit. His hand still on the doorknob, he turned back and remarked, “What a dysfunctional family we are, with Seonghwa and Hongjoong as the overbearing parents. Seonghwa, I bet this is the most fun you’ve had in years!” And before Seonghwa could chase Yeosang down and take appropriate action, Yeosang sprinted out the door.

“Well, it was nice meeting everybody. See you all at dinner, I have a murder I need to commit.” Seonghwa calmly stated, expressionless.

The last thing he heard before the door closed behind him was, “I hope he wasn’t serious about that.”

Well, what an interesting experience this would be. Seonghwa wasn’t sure if he should be grateful or irritated at Yeosang for convincing him to come along. Only time would tell, he supposed.

If he only knew how much his life would change from the whole experience that began that fateful Friday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins. Welcome to a story about what happens when you stick eight villains together for the purpose of team-building! All I can say is that the chaos is just beginning. Thanks for checking out the first chapter, and I hope you enjoyed reading!


	2. Of Celery Sticks and Confrontations

“You have _got_ to be kidding me.” Seonghwa plopped down on his newly-made bed, glaring at the two people standing in the doorway of his cabin.

“Yeah, I thought we’d only be rooming in pairs?” Yeosang wondered, casting a questioning glance at the unwelcome intruders. Seonghwa’s roommate was busy unpacking his luggage and placing a large number of blankets on the bottom bunk bed, across the room from Seonghwa’s own bed. Seriously, how did all those blankets fit in such a tiny suitcase?

“Change of plans. Because there was some screw-up with scheduling, there’s another group of people here at the same time as us, so we only have two cabins instead of four. Which means we’re now roommates and best buddies!” Wooyoung grinned, his voice smarmy and irritating. But maybe Seonghwa was _slightly_ biased.

“Unfortunately, that means we have to share the bunk beds.” San, on the other hand, seemed completely tired of his friend’s neverending enthusiasm. “If you want, Wooyoung and I can take one bunk while you and Yeosang take the other?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. It’s not like I _just_ finished unpacking and placing my stuff on the mattress.” Yeosang huffed, but he moved to pick up his blankets and pillow. “I’ll take the top bunk,” he sighed. Seonghwa nodded in acknowledgement.

“Dibs on bottom bunk!” San quickly exclaimed, racing to fling himself on the now-vacant mattress. His luggage was left at the door, abandoned.

“Man, guess I’m top then.” Wooyoung pouted before tossing his entire suitcase on his bed. “And here’s your luggage, you lazy bum.” Wooyoung rolled the metallic-colored suitcase next to San, who quickly clambered out of bed and started unpacking. Both Seonghwa and Yeosang stared at San in shock when the man started pulling stuffed animals out of his suitcase. And it’s not like San only had one plushie; no, the man grabbed _armfuls_ of plushies and set them all gently on his bed.

“Hey guys, meet Shiber.” San proudly held up a shiba inu plushie—a near-perfect reenactment of that one scene in The Lion King. Seonghwa snorted at the thought.

“I’m honored to be introduced to the love of your life, San. When’s the wedding, and can I be invited?” Yeosang asked innocently, ignoring San’s spluttering.

“Okay, anyways. We need a name for ourselves so then we can beat the others in competitions. I personally suggest ‘woosanseongsang.’ Any other suggestions?” Wooyoung declared. There was a short pause. “Great! We’re woosanseongsang now.”

“Does anyone hear a buzzing sound? I think there’s some mosquito in our cabin.” Seonghwa muttered, glaring pointedly at Wooyoung.

“No? I don’t hear anything?” The clueless man responded, a question in his eyes.

“Oh, there it is again. I just hear buzzing.” Seonghwa resisted the childish urge to stick his tongue at Wooyoung. He could swear that Wooyoung was about three seconds away from either internally combusting or committing arson.

“Yeah, anyways. Is everyone fine with me playing music while we get settled in and refrain from wringing each others’ necks and setting the cabin on fire?” Yeosang finally chimed in, holding up his phone.

“Why don’t we listen to BTS? I’m a pretty big fan of their music.” Everyone nodded in agreement, and after a few seconds, the first bars of The Truth Untold played. The four quickly set off to unpack and settle in their new home for the weekend.

“Okay, honestly, I feel like this song is so underrated. No one really ever talks about it. I mean, like, the entire vocal line’s voices are perfect. They convey this emotion of longing and regret so well, and I tear up every time. Seriously.” Seonghwa blinked in surprise at Wooyoung’s sudden change in attitude, the latter villain now more thoughtful and less boisterous.

A period of quiet, save for the soft songs (and occasional frustrating Spotify ads) playing in the background, reigned as the four villains finished arranging their belongings. Having been the fastest unpacker, Yeosang decided to take a nap and made the others promise to wake him before dinner “or else they’d regret it very much.” Seonghwa didn’t particularly want to find out what that entailed. Wooyoung took that as a chance to draw on Yeosang’s face with a permanent marker, but San suggested that the miscreant check up on Hongjoong and the others instead, so Wooyoung was out of the picture (or rather, cabin) for a bit.

“So, how long have you guys been co-conspirators? Me and Wooyoung, we’ve been working together for two and a half years.” San addressed Seonghwa, finally breaking the tranquil atmosphere.

“Uh, just about four years now, I believe. I’ve sort of lost track, to be honest.” Seonghwa smiled softly at Yeosang, who was still busy napping.

“Honestly, I’m glad I’m here. It’d be great to know there are more people who have my back, what with the whole ‘oh yeah, we’re villains that everyone else despises’ shtick.” San quietly admitted.

“Hey, don’t worry. You know, Yeosang dragged me here, but I’m actually sort of enjoying everyone’s company. But don’t tell Wooyoung I said that, yeah? He’d have a field day if he knew I tolerated him.” Seonghwa grinned.

At that moment, the door slammed open and was nearly torn off its hinges. Both Seonghwa and San flinched by reflex, then looked at the intruder. Wooyoung entered, a grin stretching across his face. “Hey, broskis! What’s up? I visited Joong’s cabin, and wow, it’s like a completely different world. Jongho’s currently breaking apples in half with his bare hands and singing some ballad or something, Mingi and Yunho are blasting music and having a dance-off, and Joong’s somehow reading throughout the entire ordeal. Fascinating.”

“Well. That’s… _interesting_ , I suppose. I won’t be crossing Jongho anytime soon, though. That’s for sure. Those poor apples—he should apologize to them.” San quipped.

“And there’s one more thing. I caught a glimpse of some of the other people who are also here, and well… they look about our age. I don’t know if they’re villains, though.” Wooyoung added, his gaze turning cautious.

“Yeah, that’s great and all, but Wooyoung. For goodness sake, clean up your stuff! Seriously, we’ve just unpacked, and somehow your things are already scattered everywhere.” Seonghwa glared at the heap of wrinkled clothes on Wooyoung’s bed and the various items littering the carpeted floor. “I think we should probably head to the dining hall soon, and I expect everything to be in order by the time we leave. And someone has to wake up Yeosang.”

“Nose goes!” San exclaimed, glancing at the slumbering boy.

Ten minutes later, Yeosang was up, with no one worse for wear (unless you counted Seonghwa, who had been on the receiving end of several projectiles in the form of pillows and needed to restyle his hair as a result). Together, the four headed to the dining hall, arriving exactly on time—7 pm on the dot. The other cabin of villains was already seated, and at another table, a clump of people were huddled. They must’ve been the other group that Wooyoung had been talking about earlier.

Upon spotting Mingi waving at them, Wooyoung practically dragged his three other roommates to sit down. Unfortunately, in his haste, Yeosang tripped, pulling down San, who dragged down Seonghwa, causing them to be tangled up in a mess of limbs. From the other side of the room, they heard rambunctious laughter. Seonghwa chose to ignore them, instead dusting himself off and taking a seat at the round table.

“Hey, um. Guys, I know who the other group of people are. And, well. It’s not good news—I mean, it normally would be good news, but for us, it isn’t good. I recognize one of them from high school, and I know who the rest of them are. Man, this is gonna be interesting.” Wooyoung whispered, casting a furtive glance at the other group.

“Just cut to the chase, Wooyoung.” Hongjoong sighed, thinking it was another one of the younger’s antics. Seonghwa saw the wariness in Wooyoung’s eyes and immediately jabbed Hongjoong in the side with his elbow.

“You know Stray Kids, right? They go by SKZ?” Wooyoung muttered.

“Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me. There’s no way they’d be here. Unlike us, they actually have the ability and patience to work together. Or at least for the most part.” Jongho huffed. The youngest of the eight villains glanced over at the table and visibly paled. “Oh, you’re not joking. I recognize one of them, too. Hyunjin.”

“Yeah. That’s Changbin over there, to the very left.” Wooyoung continued, gritting his teeth.

“Do they know who we are? I mean, our alter egos?” Yunho urgently questioned.

Wooyoung simply replied, “I sure hope they don’t.” Seonghwa’s eyes flicked over to the table of Stray Kids, one of whom was now busy eating the lemons that had come with the glasses of water while the others cheered him on. Abruptly, one of them made eye contact with him, and Seonghwa quickly glanced away, rejoining the conversation that was unfolding right in front of him.

“I didn’t know that even superheroes needed to go on team-building retreats.” Mingi snarked.

“Hush, they’re looking over in this direction. We need to come up with some cover. We probably already look suspicious because of all the whispering.” Seonghwa quickly shushed the other villains.

“New interns at an accounting firm?” Hongjoong suggested. “I know it’s random, but I think they probably wouldn’t pry into our story.” The others nodded their agreement, staying silent. The room quieted down, and Seonghwa could feel the superheroes’ gazes burning into the back of his neck.

“Well, are we gonna eat dinner or not? Because I’m starving, and we’ve been sitting here for hours!” Yeosang announced loudly—just loud enough for the superheroes to hear—and strode up to the buffet-style tables, grabbing a plate and filling it up with food. Just like that, the awkward silence was broken. The other seven villains quickly followed suit while ignoring the superheroes, who were also climbing to their feet and lining up.

“Wait, Wooyoung? Jung Wooyoung?” A voice exclaimed, incredulous. Seonghwa looked at the speaker—a young brown-haired man even shorter than Hongjoong.

“Hey, Changbin! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? What are you up to these days?” Wooyoung smiled—except his smile resembled more of a painful grimace.

“Nothing much. Working with the others, helping fight crime, saving the world here and there. The usual.” Changbin grinned in response. “So, what are you doing here?”

“Ah, well. I’m a new intern, along with the other guys, and we’re here for a team-building retreat, as ordered by our company.” Wooyoung faltered.

“Yep, we work at an accounting firm. Not all that interesting, but it looks good on resumes.” Seonghwa interjected, flashing a harmless smile.

“Huh. I never would’ve thought that you went into accounting, Woo.” Changbin had a weird expression that seemed almost contemplative, his eyes never leaving Seonghwa’s face. “Well, see you around.”

“Yeah, see you around.” With that, Wooyoung redirected his attention to Seonghwa. “Is it possible that he recognized you?”

“I don’t think so? I’ve never seen him before, so I doubt it.” Seonghwa replied, his gaze lingering on Changbin’s retreating figure.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s dig in and just forget about them for now. If worst comes to worst, I could… you know.” Wooyoung proceeded to stab his chopsticks rather aggressively into his meal.

“Would you really, though?” San muttered. “Because we all know you’re a softie at heart, even despite your constant teasing.” Wooyoung casted a glare at San before furiously chomping on what looked to be a spring roll.

The rest of the dinner passed without any incident, and soon, everyone was stuffed to the point of passing out from food-induced comas.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat again,” Wooyoung groaned, “and tell Hongjoong that I can’t make it to the activities tomorrow.”

“Not all of us have the self-control skills of a celery stick, Wooyoung, and you realize that I am sitting literally right here?” Hongjoong rolled his eyes, a small smile making its way onto his face. The entire dinner had gone surprisingly smoothly, and Seonghwa was relieved that there had been no food fight. Unfortunately, it seemed that the rest of the villains had no qualms whatsoever about sharing TMIs, and he now knew some _very_ embarrassing stories about each person seated at the table.

Currently, Wooyoung was engaged in a fierce debate against basically everyone else about the merits of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Seonghwa shook his head in fondness; somehow, the little scoundrel (even if Wooyoung was only a year and a half younger than him) had wormed his way into his heart and he had the inexplicable urge to protect Wooyoung, along with the other six members.

Abruptly, the table fell silent, and Seonghwa looked up to see a person standing right next to their table.

“Hey guys, I don’t think we’ve ever met officially. My name’s Bang Chan, though you can call me Chan.” Chan—probably the leader of Stray Kids, Seonghwa thought—stood at the side of their table, hands in pockets. A chorus of “hi’s” and “hellos” circled around the table.

“It’s nice to meet you. I had no idea you were one of Changbin’s closest friends,” Chan directed his statement at Wooyoung. Seonghwa noted that the man had an Australian accent. _Interesting_.

“Oh, we were just high school friends. That’s all.” Wooyoung chuckled nervously, his voice wavering slightly.

“Hmm, yeah, great. Anyways, I’d like to know you guys better. By the way, I apologize for the scheduling error; something must’ve happened to the system or something.” Chan stated, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh no, it’s no worry at all.” Hongjoong reassured the man, flashing a brief smile. There was a brief period of silence before Seonghwa cleared his throat and introduced himself.

“Where are my manners? I’m Seonghwa. And this is Hongjoong,” he gestured at the aforementioned man, “and that’s Yunho, Yeosang, San, Mingi, and Jongho. And Wooyoung. It’s nice to meet you. Perhaps we could work together in the future?” Seonghwa tried his best to stay polite even though the man in front of them was technically their mortal enemy. There was another stagnant pause.

“Alright, I’m just gonna cut to the chase. Let’s make a bet. One friendly game of ‘spot-the-villain-in-this-room’—oh wait, that’s you guys. I know who you are.” Chan, suddenly serious, stared down Seonghwa.

“You—you must have mistaken us for someone else, Chan. We’re just accounting interns.” Yeosang said, tilting his head to the side.

“No, Yeosang—or should I say Logan? Remember Australia? I was there, you know. And Mars, don’t think that I’ve forgotten you.” Chan grinned, except his grin resembled that of a shark’s smile before dealing the killing blow to its prey.

“Oh, and one more thing. If you try to do anything to me or any of my members, there will be hell to pay.” The ominous warning hung in the air as the leader of Stray Kids walked leisurely back to his table, whistling a merry tune. The villains were left speechless.

“They won’t recognize us, my ass.” Yeosang scoffed. At that moment, Seonghwa couldn’t have agreed any more.

“Yep, we’re doomed. It was nice knowing everybody—see you in the burning pits of hell.” San concluded.

Mingi scoffed. “Dude, I’m an angel. I’d never go to h—” He promptly stopped speaking when a glob of mashed potatoes landed in his hair. Seonghwa slowly looked over to the other table across the room and saw one of the superheroes grinning as he levitated a spoon in mid-air.

“Guys, whatever you do, don’t engage. I repeat, don’t eng—” Hongjoong started.

San proceeded to aim a concerning amount of carbonara in the direction of the SKZ superheroes, using his telekinetic powers to splatter the pasta and the sauce everywhere. And so it began. What started as a simple taunt devolved into a full-on food fight.

In the end, only Hongjoong had escaped unscathed, and Seonghwa cursed his own luck. He sighed and then pushed his soda-drenched hair to the side. Perhaps he had jinxed it? But there was no way it’d happen again. His luck couldn’t possibly be _that_ bad, right? Right?

Oh, how foolish and naive he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... tensions have risen, and it seems like Seonghwa has jinxed everything? Either way, thanks for sticking around and reading! This chapter didn't turn out the way I hoped it would, but it's okay. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, and thank you for the 10 kudos and 70 hits—I didn't realize that WESTBWE would be this well-received! Anyways, I digress. What do you think will happen next?
> 
> Oh, and I don't know how I'm functioning after Hongjoong's and Seonghwa's concept photos came out.... ATEEZ comeback in 7 days!!!!


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